The Mistress

I have a mistress. And a very demanding mistress she is too. In just under 40 days I shall be taking my mistress on holiday around Europe once again. She will probably complain incessantly as usual. She is, after all, getting a bit old and cranky. She also drinks like a fish, smokes and is currently incontinent, but we have had some good times together. Jezebel, my mistress, is now in her mid 30's. Mutton dressed as lamb springs to mind, but she's served me well. Together, with others, we shall once again be Team Jezebel on this year's Windy 500 European Mystery Tour.

Jezebel, in the Tatras Mountains

We have had our highs and lows, Jezebel and me. Mile upon mile of trouble free motoring, up and down mountain ranges. Twenty six different countries we have visited, from Norway to Greece, France to Romania via some of the most picturesque landscape, treacherous, winding roads, iconic European cities and beautiful campsites across the continent. She's also had to be carried home in shame on more occasions than I'd care to remember. She has let me down...but I've forgiven her. Again. She may be old, leaky and thirsty, but she will be my faithful travelling companion once more as we venture forth in to the unknown.

Eileen in his less upholstered days. 

Talking of faithful old travelling companions, I'm dragging Eileen along once more. Steve, as he was christened the first time around has been known as Eileen by all of my friends and family for the last 10 years or so. We first encountered Eileen whilst back packing in rural Venezuela and since then he has been harder to shake off than damp toilet paper from your shoe. He's like a well upholstered piece of the furniture these days.

The next Jezebel team member is Marc. Again a veteran of two Euro Windy trips and the Global trip last year. Marc has jettisoned his illustrious pink wagon, imaginatively named (by Marc) 'Pinkie', more imaginatively named (by me) 'the mobile brothel', due to the garish paintwork and rather worrying looking interior. It was like some sort of masochists dungeon inside. Anyway, Pinkie the brothel isn't coming this time.

Pinkie. Standard pose....

Jo, my wife, is also lined up to make a cameo appearance for 5 days or so, and Kath, my mother-in-law is along for the second week. As usual, Team Jezebel will be one of those 'hop on, hop off' teams.

'So, where are you going ?' is the question I am asked just about every time I mention that I'm off on a Mystery Tour. 'Oh yeah.....' is the general reply when I've reminded the person asking that it's a Mystery Tour. Yes, I know where we are going. Eileen doesn't. Marc doesn't. Jo and Kath will have some ideas as they'll have to fly in and out.  They'll all find out when we get there...

Jezebel is currently unwell. 17 points on an MOT unwell. In fact, there aren't many bits of her that can be classed as well, it seems. She does however now have new indicators and a few other minor new bits. She's hopefully being welded up next week where she is falling apart at the seams. Brakes are being replaced, lights adjusted and that damn rocker cover (oh God, I hate that damn rocker cover) is hopefully being stuck back on. I've done it myself once or twice. Possibly a few more times. My handy work and expletives just don't seem to fix the leak though. She needs some TLC. Or a good going over with a hammer. And more bling and flashy interior lights..... It's a bit of a stormy, love/hate relationship at times.

Still the final line up isn't quite final. Awaiting news from some people, some teams. It's looking like 17 teams will be setting off. Most from Weymouth, some from other parts of the World, such as Inverness, Uppsala in Sweden and Derby. We shall either see them on route at Dover, or at our first stop......wherever that is. Some old (well 'veteran' I guess would be politer) teams will be coming, some wide eyed 'freshers', eager to find out what this Windy thing is all about. Thirty nine days until it all becomes a reality....just hope my mechanic has fixed that poxy rocker cover by then.

Setting off in 2014.